I’ve never thought about being a dad. Until now…

I’ve never thought about being a dad. Until now…: Michael Segalov always presumed fatherhood was not for him. Then his beloved grandmother died and he found himself thinking about having kids. But that meant learning about new and radical approaches to being a parent

It wasn’t the first time my nephew had called my mum “Grandma”. This was, if anything, a staple of the fairly limited vocabulary this three-year-old possessed. Mum, my sister and I had been strewn out on the grass, exhausted. Unperturbed, he announced he wanted escorting to the swings. A few years earlier, it had felt strange to hear Mum being called by her new moniker. But it became normal in no time… At least, until now.

Before that day, I’d thought little of procreation. That was for proper grownups, adulthood’s far-off frontier. Firmly in my late 20s, that’s very much a privilege of my gender: there’d been no overbearing societal pressure or talk of an ever-ticking biological clock. Being gay, meanwhile, put my present and past partners in the same position. And neither they nor I could ever find ourselves pregnant, however relaxed about precautions, or hard we might try.

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